Filling up the gap

So, a long, long, long break in our posts and justifiably so.The last three weeks have been hectic, tension filled, tiring,just running short of the right adjectives....they were, in one short word,not-so-pleasant...was that short????Tried to keep our spirits going, though, with a lot of stuff happening, and we rarely getting a minute to sit down.
We started preparing for the hospital visit, two days in advance.The travel preparation, Ananya's bag with clothes, toys and all necessities, and we were set on the morning of 9th Feb,6 AM.It was snowing the previous day and we were worried if that was going to play havoc with our plans,but luckily for us, it didn't snow that morn. We reached the Harley Street Clinic, London, at 7 AM and reported at the reception.Ananya sat down to update herself with the news highlights and after a brief stint with the newspaper, our admission formalities were done, and we were led to our private room, where we waited for the doctors to come and see her.
Dr I D Sullivan came in, did the requisite tests and after another half an hour of waiting, at 8:30, we were told it was time to go to the catheter lab.All the tension, that we were forcibly bottling up within ourselves, had started to slowly surface, and this time, it was out of our control.I don't think there are enough words to describe the feeling that we experienced when we held our lil princess, all blissfully ignorant, and walked towards the lab.The lil one was playing, cooing, laughing all along, unaware of what her mom and dad were going thru. But yes, that gave us the strength and the courage to face it.When we walked into the lab, there were a dozen of the medical staff, including the anesthetist,the nurses and a few others, and that shook us up even further.They placed our lil one on the table and she started screaming.We were asked to lend them hand till she was given her dose of anesthesia.And we did.And was that pain?Yes, the greatest one we had experienced so far.Our princess was fast asleep.The staff asked us to leave.Leave?No guts, no heart, no courage, no strength to move out of the place and we stood there, unwilling to move.They read our eyes, and said,'Don't worry!We'll take care of your baby"And all the bottled up emotions,forced their way out and as the staff started to make another gentle reminder for us to leave, we helped each other out.
And back in the room, it was the longest wait ever!The hour and a half of wait seemed never ending...And it was the longest I'd ever stayed away from my baby.We spent the time praying for courage to see us through the wait and finally, at 10:15 AM, the doctor came in and explained to us, how the procedure went,and how he felt about it.And then, we were taken to the recovery room where our lil darling was peacefully sleeping.We waited 10 minutes and she was up , and smiled at us and loooooooooooo, our hearts were back in their place.She was active in half an hour and had her first feed in 9 hours (the last she fed was at 2Am that morning. Doctors insisted that no feeds be given to her six hours before the procedure) and was back to her usual self.She started laughing, cooing and babbling and with all her perkiness, stole the hearts of all that were present there.The nurses were awed by how playful and cute she was and the proud parents didn't have a word to say..When emotions overwhelm you, words don't speak,moist eyes do.
Ananya was monitored for 6 hours in the recovery room, and all along, she tugged at the cords, and rolled away and tried to sit up several times.The needles that are put in place in case the patients need drips, did hinder her a freedom but she managed it well.At 4 PM, we were transferred to our private room, and our lil one was free.She was relieved of the needles that, fortunately, she never needed.And also, freed from all the cords tugging and pulling at her toes, she was up and about.At 8:30 PM, the doctor walked in, did his evaluation, and told us he was pleased with her recovery, and we were free to go home.
So, Ananya successfully had her PDA closed.
Wanted to pen my feelings the next day, but was so overwhelmed with relief and the stress release resulted in me falling ill for a coupla days and then, the lil one took it from me and currently, we are fighting with all our might, a more traumatic, unimaginable(for most)food strike ever.She refuses to eat and drink and this has led to our frequent visits to the doctors and few more pricks on her hands for blood tests and all this has left me and Murali with no time at all for anything.Ananya has spent several days, may be close to two weeks, eating literally NOTHING, we tried to sing, dance, cajole, coax, force, shown her to the doc, and done all in our capacity and now, are clinging to the phrase 'this toooooo shall pass'.Will it?Hopefully....With all her activity and play, we find it hard to figure out how she survives on just a coupla ounces a day.Murali says jokingly,"May be she just eats enuf food for her brain"....Oh yeah, looks like her brain is taking the lion's share of her bird's serving.A lot of stuff she does these days, is very intelligent.She has learnt to repeat some words that she hears in her activity center,like one days, she suddenly said,'doooown',and repeated it several times.I sing a telugu lullaby "laaali laaali laaaaali laaaali' every time I rock her to sleep and after she wakes up, she goes,"laaayi laaayi laaaayi laaaayi".Her tiny words are feast to our ears and her smiles, a feast to our eyes.
She takes the lead in playing peek a boo with me.She pulls a towel or a blanket and covers her face and looks at me from the corner of her eye, with a biiiiig grin, and expects me to say "boooooo"and then, she reveals her face and I gotta say,"peeek".She chases me around big objects when I hide behind them, and does it intelligently.But her weight is taking a beating.We are waiting with bated breath, for the day when she will eat at least half of the recommended dietary intake for her age.God, are you listening????????

Writing this, not as a literary piece or as a mere record of incidents, but if ever, (pray and hope not), someone, stands at a point in life, like this, looking for strenth and support and answers to many questions,"Why us?I took wonderful care of my pregnancy, did all the healthy things?didn't drink,didn't smoke , not even caffeine?I didn't deliver preterm?I didn't have Rubella during my pregnancy?Everything seemed so perfect?Then why me?", and happens to bump into our blog, may be it can give you an answer."Because you are the chosen one.When God creates someone so beautiful, precious and perfect, He finds it easy to spot them in a crowd, even for something like this."Atleast that's what we strongly believe in.
This experience has brought us closer to each other and has increased our respect for life and all small things it has to offer. And now, as much as, and more than ever, we believe that with this jewel adorning our lives, life is beautiful, and all the ups and downs that are inevitable, will not make life any less desirable for us.