The storyteller

"Then suddenly....", starts her story,"........the jasmine hit monkey, monkey hit Barney, monkey's shoes are too tight, so Barney bought a new pair for monkey..........it goes.She narrated her first story a fortnight ago and since then, every naptime and every bedtime, she'd ask," Mummy, I tell you story?First, close your eyes". The animated expression on her face and the cheeky,lil smile after the story is finished, have me captivated.
These days, the lil one gets to play a lot in the sand in the playground of our apartment complex.She plays to her heart's content every evening, making sandcastles and birthday cakes and soup and ....the list goes on.
Murali is in Mysore now for a week long training program.Last morning, Ananya was enquiring where Dada was and so, when Murali called up, I immediately gave the phone to her, to speak. Upon request, she gave a 'kisshi kisshi' in the phone to Dada. Murali'd called the landline, unable to reach us on the mobile.The landline handset being too big for the lil one, she kissed much above the speaker. I wasn't too sure if Murali cud hear it so I asked her to kiss a lil lower on the phone, closer to the speaker. She immediately said,with an expression so cute, innocent and divine," Oh dada is here?" and then kissed again on the speaker.
A moment to be etched in gold.

Time for school????

I've all along been bombarded with suggestions that it's time to send the li'l one to school. I've, for the past one year, managed to keep these suggestions from influencing my thinking. But now, the 'emotional' mom in me seems to be giving way to the 'rational' mother.All these days, my heart wouldn't even consider, forget accept the thought of 'sending her to school'."She's just a baby", it wud reprimand me for even letting a fleeting thought come to me.Now,it says,"Want to give it a thought".Evolution of a mother???
Now, it's 'playing with mommy', 'fighting with mommy','jumping with mommy','laughing with mommy'.An overkill?I'm starting to question myself.Maybe she needs to spend some time without mommy??The same house, the same face of mum everyday... musbe boring for her now:-)Will a couple of hours of timeout everyday do her good...I start to think.But then, with all the stuff she already knows, there isn't much value added by going to school...the "Proud mom"in me challenges."Well it's not just about learning....it's also about unlearning and relearning" the 'pragmatic mom' answers. Oh yes!
Her communication is excellent for a 2 and half year old, her social skills...enviable, her reasoning, her comprehension.....up to the mark.Then what is it she will gain by going to school..........My mind tries to do its bit...Well, may be a bit of sharing, a bit of competing, a bit of coexisting....basically prepare her to be a part of the world outside.....
The basic convincing of the heart done, we started to think of where to send her.
First thing we decided on was, to send her to a Montessori school.Given the rate at which she learns things, we were sure she needed to set her own pace .Secondly, the amenities...a good play area, clean toilets, in house medical help, transport.The most important,location.We currently reside in Electronic City, a part so remote and cut off, she would now have to travel a minimum of 6-7 kms each way everyday, to go to schools located in HSR Layout, which is the closest.
With all these factors making the decision so difficult, we are now at the same question again.....isn't it too early????Fine, time will decide how things go from now.....with the li'l one increasingly craving change and me being increasingly unable to provide that, will have to make a difficult decision soon. The war of the mind and the heart only gets stronger....

The lil genius

I rarely write these days coz, when I pen my feelings, all that comes out is,about'the lil one'. When she grows up and reads this blog,I don't want her to feel uncomfortable or bored.But I'm just helpless.So overwhelmed with the joy and pride of being blessed with an intelligent, cute, smart lil one, nothing else finds place in my mind and heart. If I try to describe her many activities, my vocabulary can never, never do justice to the job.
Her vocabulary is very rich, for a baby who's not yet celebrated her 2nd birthday.Her thoughtfulness, ability to relate things, reason out are a pleasure to watch.She joins two sentences to make a complex statement.She moves the mouse on the pad, intently looking at the computer, and says"I'm doing something"."Dont'do that!" ,she commands.
She runs her magnetic pen on the drawing board, and explains how the picture of a duck is drawn,'ila chesi, ila chesi, ila chesi,idi duck(this way, this way, this way and, this is a duck).She mounts building blocks one over the other, constructs a model and asks us,"House bagunda?(Is the house nice?). 'Happy feet ' continues to be her favourite and something that is recently drawing her interest is,"Nemo fish"."Dil na diya, bolo bolo kaa kiya" she sings... Not even a month, before we celebrate her 2nd birthday.Eagerly waiting......to celebrate the most important day in our lives.Alreay two years??Is time really pacing so fast?Or, is it the lil one who's making it seem so????

The proud parents

The proud parents in us have been trying to silently enjoy the many intelligent ways of the lil one but,the happiness and elation refused to be contained and we decided to record some of our overwhelming feelings, for later use.
The very cute ways in which Ananya is picking up on stuff she sees and listens, is having us go gaga.There are just too many things to record, I wouldn't record all of them even if I could because, this is not a daily journal or something.I just want this beautiful picture of her intelligent early days coming to my mind, when I want it to,many years later.
Not that we sat down to teach her every thing she has learnt, we don't even believe in teaching at such an early age.What we do believe in is, encouraging her to express and stimulating her creativity.All we do and want to do ,is, communicate. There has not been a single attempt so far, to teach her the regular alphabet, the numbers, the days of the week, the names of months etc.Will they mean anything to her?She is only an year and four months and she will get a lot of time to learn the 'must-know's once she starts school.And then the 'should learn' stuff will be an inevitable part of her daily life.
For now, we enjoy her switching the lights and fans on and off, her shutting the doors on instruction, her carrying her dirty clothes to the washing machine, identifying the places where her favourite things are kept, her identifying household stuff, her folding her hands in prayer and saying 'jota' whenver and wherever she sees an idol of the lord or hears some chanting of hyms or shlokas,her bringing her padama(pyjamas) and thowel(towel) when asked to, her pointing to objects in books and papers and trying to identify them,her pointing to the cookel(cooker )on the stove, her animated conversation on a phone,her calling me 'mummy' a dozen times and in a dozen different styles and tones and then trying to converse with me, her picking up and handing us each toy as we call out the names while packing up her cupboard at the end of the day, her going up to dada and babbling something when I ask her to convey a message, her trying to make innumerable faces and pouts and expressions, her trying to blink and look away after having done something cute, trying to imitate the actions of the kids in her nursery rhyme CDs, trying to mimic our actions and words........
Yeah, I admit this learning is not 'display enabled':-).I cannot say 'chalo aunty uncle ko sunao'.We wouldn't even want to resort to that.After all, her learning should be for her own fun and not to please us or others.Anyway, our lil one is so strong willed , you cannot coax her into doing something.She does something she totally enjoys.And that perfectly coincides with our idea of 'proactive learning'.
We are proud of our independent, strong willed, persuasive, confident and creative lil lady in the making.

The internet....after a long break

So we are back after a long time, feel much better, with an internet connection at home, albeit a very bad one.So, my long written and saved posts follow.....

Hey!!! Looooong time

Our first post since we left London.It's been a really hectic month...with lots of travel, lots of sun and heat, lots of visits.Ananya's visit to India, ecstatic grandparents, the celebrations, the ups and downs all made it really special.
The first thing that struck us as soon as we landed in Bangalore was, the traffic and the pollution Ananya will have to get used to.We tried to protect her for a few days, with the inevitable parental instinct but very soon realised we were not being practical.This one year has made us, like all others, a lil fanciful...dreaming of smoke and dust free roads, mosquito free homes, stray dog free streets, sensible driving....and a lot more.But very soon, we were shaken out of our trance, and we realised, if we wanted the life and colour here, we should be willing to forgo something else.Nobody gets everything.
Vijayawada was our next stop over and then, it was Tirupati, for a visit of Lord Venkateswara.As we checked into our guest house room, we realised the linen was not too clean and so, we approached the man in charge, to obtain a clean set.The man said, I'll give you very clean sheets.Don't tell anyone, just give me 50 bucks and leave.SOOOOOOOO.....we're back.
Everytime I visit Tirupati, I am amazed at the power that draws lakhs of devotees every day, fighting obstacles ....all for a darshan short of even seconds....
And then, it was the Air Deccan flight to Visakhapatnam.Ananya spent her time on the flight, playing with the air hostess, who was completely floored and came and took the empty seat behind us. And then, at the airport, it was a much awaited union with her maternal grandparents.Ananya was fast asleep when we landed, but it was touching to see

Busy bee!!!!

This is a representation of the kind of pictures we get these days, with Ananya hating to sit still.Good "still pictures" are now a rarity.Eleven months old and all the business in the world to take care of.

Ten tenaten Ten.....Ten months today!!!1st March 2007

Another two months to our princess's 1st birthday!!!And we are very excited...In fact, the preparation is underway... Now at ten months, all the baby proofing we thought we'd done, is seeming so inadequate.The lil one is stretching on her toes, to reach up to things beyong her height and she's managed to be successful a couple of times.She's trying to turn on the switch of the oven and pull out drawers from the cabinet.Yesterday, she let go of support, and stood independently for a coupla seconds and the 'victorious yet surprised' look she gave us, was mighty thrilling and Murali was at home too,in time to catch a glimpse of his darling daughter's advancement. She's in complete awe of the computer, bangs on it,pressses the keys and finally manages to bring it to the stand by mode.SO, we are increasingly having to spend lesser time at the computer, because there is no way she would let us sit at it. A new thing that she's enjoyed immensely is drumming on the cookie tin that I gave her.She plays it like she were playing the tabla(though she's not seen Murali play it).Her sense of music and rhythm is just awesome and needs to be seen to be believed.Even something as mundane as me shaking her feeding bottle filled with water(for cleaning), sets her music sense going and she immediately starts rocking to the rhythm.This afternoon, I hummed to her instead of singing the lullaby, and she asked for it!!"laayi laayi" she said. I think she's gonna be a star....Will have to wait and watch what the stars think...

Filling up the gap

So, a long, long, long break in our posts and justifiably so.The last three weeks have been hectic, tension filled, tiring,just running short of the right adjectives....they were, in one short word,not-so-pleasant...was that short????Tried to keep our spirits going, though, with a lot of stuff happening, and we rarely getting a minute to sit down.
We started preparing for the hospital visit, two days in advance.The travel preparation, Ananya's bag with clothes, toys and all necessities, and we were set on the morning of 9th Feb,6 AM.It was snowing the previous day and we were worried if that was going to play havoc with our plans,but luckily for us, it didn't snow that morn. We reached the Harley Street Clinic, London, at 7 AM and reported at the reception.Ananya sat down to update herself with the news highlights and after a brief stint with the newspaper, our admission formalities were done, and we were led to our private room, where we waited for the doctors to come and see her.
Dr I D Sullivan came in, did the requisite tests and after another half an hour of waiting, at 8:30, we were told it was time to go to the catheter lab.All the tension, that we were forcibly bottling up within ourselves, had started to slowly surface, and this time, it was out of our control.I don't think there are enough words to describe the feeling that we experienced when we held our lil princess, all blissfully ignorant, and walked towards the lab.The lil one was playing, cooing, laughing all along, unaware of what her mom and dad were going thru. But yes, that gave us the strength and the courage to face it.When we walked into the lab, there were a dozen of the medical staff, including the anesthetist,the nurses and a few others, and that shook us up even further.They placed our lil one on the table and she started screaming.We were asked to lend them hand till she was given her dose of anesthesia.And we did.And was that pain?Yes, the greatest one we had experienced so far.Our princess was fast asleep.The staff asked us to leave.Leave?No guts, no heart, no courage, no strength to move out of the place and we stood there, unwilling to move.They read our eyes, and said,'Don't worry!We'll take care of your baby"And all the bottled up emotions,forced their way out and as the staff started to make another gentle reminder for us to leave, we helped each other out.
And back in the room, it was the longest wait ever!The hour and a half of wait seemed never ending...And it was the longest I'd ever stayed away from my baby.We spent the time praying for courage to see us through the wait and finally, at 10:15 AM, the doctor came in and explained to us, how the procedure went,and how he felt about it.And then, we were taken to the recovery room where our lil darling was peacefully sleeping.We waited 10 minutes and she was up , and smiled at us and loooooooooooo, our hearts were back in their place.She was active in half an hour and had her first feed in 9 hours (the last she fed was at 2Am that morning. Doctors insisted that no feeds be given to her six hours before the procedure) and was back to her usual self.She started laughing, cooing and babbling and with all her perkiness, stole the hearts of all that were present there.The nurses were awed by how playful and cute she was and the proud parents didn't have a word to say..When emotions overwhelm you, words don't speak,moist eyes do.
Ananya was monitored for 6 hours in the recovery room, and all along, she tugged at the cords, and rolled away and tried to sit up several times.The needles that are put in place in case the patients need drips, did hinder her a freedom but she managed it well.At 4 PM, we were transferred to our private room, and our lil one was free.She was relieved of the needles that, fortunately, she never needed.And also, freed from all the cords tugging and pulling at her toes, she was up and about.At 8:30 PM, the doctor walked in, did his evaluation, and told us he was pleased with her recovery, and we were free to go home.
So, Ananya successfully had her PDA closed.
Wanted to pen my feelings the next day, but was so overwhelmed with relief and the stress release resulted in me falling ill for a coupla days and then, the lil one took it from me and currently, we are fighting with all our might, a more traumatic, unimaginable(for most)food strike ever.She refuses to eat and drink and this has led to our frequent visits to the doctors and few more pricks on her hands for blood tests and all this has left me and Murali with no time at all for anything.Ananya has spent several days, may be close to two weeks, eating literally NOTHING, we tried to sing, dance, cajole, coax, force, shown her to the doc, and done all in our capacity and now, are clinging to the phrase 'this toooooo shall pass'.Will it?Hopefully....With all her activity and play, we find it hard to figure out how she survives on just a coupla ounces a day.Murali says jokingly,"May be she just eats enuf food for her brain"....Oh yeah, looks like her brain is taking the lion's share of her bird's serving.A lot of stuff she does these days, is very intelligent.She has learnt to repeat some words that she hears in her activity center,like one days, she suddenly said,'doooown',and repeated it several times.I sing a telugu lullaby "laaali laaali laaaaali laaaali' every time I rock her to sleep and after she wakes up, she goes,"laaayi laaayi laaaayi laaaayi".Her tiny words are feast to our ears and her smiles, a feast to our eyes.
She takes the lead in playing peek a boo with me.She pulls a towel or a blanket and covers her face and looks at me from the corner of her eye, with a biiiiig grin, and expects me to say "boooooo"and then, she reveals her face and I gotta say,"peeek".She chases me around big objects when I hide behind them, and does it intelligently.But her weight is taking a beating.We are waiting with bated breath, for the day when she will eat at least half of the recommended dietary intake for her age.God, are you listening????????

Writing this, not as a literary piece or as a mere record of incidents, but if ever, (pray and hope not), someone, stands at a point in life, like this, looking for strenth and support and answers to many questions,"Why us?I took wonderful care of my pregnancy, did all the healthy things?didn't drink,didn't smoke , not even caffeine?I didn't deliver preterm?I didn't have Rubella during my pregnancy?Everything seemed so perfect?Then why me?", and happens to bump into our blog, may be it can give you an answer."Because you are the chosen one.When God creates someone so beautiful, precious and perfect, He finds it easy to spot them in a crowd, even for something like this."Atleast that's what we strongly believe in.
This experience has brought us closer to each other and has increased our respect for life and all small things it has to offer. And now, as much as, and more than ever, we believe that with this jewel adorning our lives, life is beautiful, and all the ups and downs that are inevitable, will not make life any less desirable for us.

Visa photos

A couple of days ago, I tried to do a photo shoot for Ananya's visa application...and man, it left me crying!!!Hahhhaha.The photo booths here wouldn't do it for babies(intelligent guys, they must've learnt it the hard way). I'd managed to get a couple of good pics earlier, but Murali thought they'd come out with a slightly bluish background...having tried to change the b/g using some software, and failed, I tried to do another one with a white duvet in the background.The first difficult part was to get her to sit steadily for a second.I was running all around the house, with the duvet in one hand and the camera in the other.Now, I try to put this heavy duvet against the wall and make Ananya sit in front and by the time I try to click a pic, either the duvet has fallen or Ananya's decided to run.Oh my Goooooood!!!The photo shoot left me fretting and fuming and crying and then the enlightenment happened.....to quit the exercise.

Our 4th Wedding Anniv

Can't believe I've forgiven Murali for 4 years!!4 anniversaries and still no diamond,no gift:-)But yeah, he's lucky,now that we've the most precious diamond ever, the most treasured gift ever,I wouldn't care for any other thing.And yeah, our darling gave me a gift today.She slept long enuf for mom to have a decent bath.

June 26 part 2

One thing which is growing with her age is the width of Ananya's grin. She looks at you and her eyes sparkle the same time. What starts as a mischevious smile turns to a broad grin. I am going to post one of those rare moments. I did manage to take a pic, but it is getting increasingly tough to capture her natural self on camera. I think that she is now camera aware :-)
For days, we have been trying to get her used to the pacifier ( to no avail yet. we even changed brands, but she hardly uses them for 10 seconds. We are still concerned about how to bottle feed her should the need arise). But, she has developed her own pacifier- her fists. She starts with both her fingers trying to explore her mouth and once she is happy with them in, she tries to push her entire fist in. You cant miss the fact that she is very happy with her attempts. Her grunts are loud for all of us to hear :-)
She has not yet turned on her tummy. She does go halfway, though. Not in any particular hurry though.She is not yet two months. Lalitha read in one of the forums that some mothers give their babies 'Tummy time'- Put the baby on her tummy. Seems that it reduces flatulence and helps bowel movements.We havent yet tried that on Ananya. Will probably do it next month-unless ofcourse she decides to do it herself earlier.
One other thing is her hectic cyclic movement with her legs. She makes a face like she is participating in the olympic cycling or boating competition. She does cycle for over 30 minutes. I wonder how she could do it so long. Such are gods ways to help her strengthen her legs.
I cam go on and on.I would have..had i not known that the stuff on stove is overcooked. I am running to the kitchen. Will be back soon.
~Murali

Ananya's 6 week check 19th june

Ananya was wide awake when we went to the doctor's, for her 6 week check today(actually she is now 7 weeks). The nurse weighed her and doctor measured her head circumference and checked her hips.He was very happy with her development.Ananya mesmerized him with her 1000 watt smile and her usual lovely expressions.He saw her trying to communicate and said,"Already trying to talk,are you?"He certified her a 'very happy baby' and a 'very active girl'.What better reason can me and Murali have to celebrate?
I keep wondering sometimes, if I went out to work, would things have been the way they are today?We could have put Ananya in a day care or something,but wouldn't she have missed her mom's caring hand all day? Who would pat her gently when she is startled and wakes up from sleep?Who would show her the 'teddies' on the wall and teach her to play with them?Who would run to her everytime she makes a noise when asleep, to check if everything's okay?Who would keep checking the temperature in the room to see if she has appropriate layers of clothing?Who would track changes in her bowels to see if she is keeping well?Who would wait for her to burp after each feed to make her comfortable?Who would track changes in her behaviour that reflect her level of comfort/discomfort?Who would give her company while she explores the small wonders of this new world?Who would sit with her to laugh when she laughed and cry when she cried?Who would try different positions to help her sleep comfortably?Who would respond to her when she makes noises, trying to call out to someone?
Will someone at daycare do all these?Will someone make her feel like she is an individual?Will her feelings and emotions be respected and cared for?
Today, I have a very happy baby.I don't know if it has atleast partly to do with my being with her all day.I don't even know if my constant communication with her is contributing atleast an inch to her being active and expressive.But I do know that I will never have to feel guilty of not being with her when she needed me most.
The process of achieving this goal is not simple.It means sacrificing some personal achievement and Murali handling all of the financial responsibility alone.But we are sure we are trying to do all that is needed to give our baby the best we can possibly think of... the best physical comforts we can think of, big brand baby products, the best part of our time,great bonding, great company,great emotional security , respect as an individual ............and when Ananya grows up to be a complete individual,feeling good about herself and everthing around her,wouldn't that be the greatest gift we can give her as parents,for bringing her into this world?
With the blessings of the Almightly, we can hope to succeed in giving Ananya a wonderful life.

June 18th part 4

After my extensive search on the net, we ruled out the first possibility(of pin worms).The GROWTH SPURT was what seemed very very likely. We found solace after I came across answers to my concerns. The site is that of Dr Greene, where lots of medical queries are answered.
The knowledge that we gathered was that, a baby goes through one of her growth spurts when she/he is six weeks old. The baby can be fussier than usual, sleep lesser, feel hungry more frequently and want to feed more often, sending signals to the mother's body that more milk would be required very soon.
As we were reading this on the net last night, Ananya fell asleep at 10 PM, for the first night in so many days, and we were relieved that her days of discomfort due to the growth spurt seem to be over.What a relief it is, to find answers to concerns nagging you!
The past week has mostly been 'frozen and ready made food' for us(something that both me and Murali stay away from),with Ananya requiring slightly more attention than earlier.But, looks like, things are coming back to normal.
I've started trying my pre-pregnancy clothes and and wow! It feels great to be able to fit back into them so soon.

~Lalitha

Ananya and me on our own

My mom went back home on Saturday.I had a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that we would be on our own, now on and Amma wouldn't be around to take care of us.It is the emotional strength you get when you have your mom around. Saturday and Sunday Murali was around and saw me weepy most of the time.
On Sunday, we walked Ananya to the temple in her new pushchair and it was a pleasant afternoon so we had a good time.She slept during most of the walk.
Today Murali went back to work and me and Ananya were on our own.I bathed her without help for the first time and it was an enjoyable experience.
Slowly, I am sure, I am going to be more confident in handling her on my own.

My new world

May 25 2006
~Lalitha

Her smile is amazingly beautiful!!!I have spent all the time since Ananya's birth,adoring her beauty,mesmerized by her innocence, amazed by her activity,enthralled by her sheer presence.
Murali's been prodding me to write something, but,I've always enjoyed just sitting around with her,overwhelmed by the pride of being mom to a beautiful lil girl. Today, while Ananya's midway into her afternoon nap, I gave it a thought."Now that I am so carried away by emotion, is it that I can only feel and not express?"May be!But, but just lemme give it a try.Twenty years down, when I can't feel the same way as I do today, may be, this expression would help me relive my feelings. And here I am, penning these words...
Talking sensible words has become a thing of the past for me now.I have spoken only baby words for the past twenty five days.Not that the lil one can understand anything of what I say, but I just can't resist it. It makes me feel so close to her,to think that I understand her language and that I can speak in a language that she can understand(I just love to believe).I call her a hundred different pet names, the origin of none is known( origin can be nothing other than profound emotion).
Every movement of mine is measured, taking care not to hurt the baby.Sometimes, this crosses the boundaries of ration.All the care taken by others in handling her, doesn't seem to satisfy my standards(rather baseless) of "careful handling".

I grew up thinking of academics, career and stuff like that, and before I got married,never imagined what it felt like, to have a family of the ones we love.And not even on the 30th of April(a day before Ananya was born), did I imagine what it would feel like, BEING A MOM!Even today, I am not sure what I dote on!Ananya or motherhood or being mother to Ananya.I don't blame myself for this flood of thoughts.When I started to write, I thought I would suffer from Verbal Constipation but it seems to have ended in Verbal diarrhoea(I hope the context of the words is understood!).I would never have spoken enough of my lovely lil daughter, the most beautiful thing me and Murali have seen so far.And I know most parents feel this way about their precious lil ones. ME AND MURALI HAVE LEARNED OF ONE OF GOD'S DIFFERENT WAYS OF SHOWERING LOVE ON US.