My new world

May 25 2006
~Lalitha

Her smile is amazingly beautiful!!!I have spent all the time since Ananya's birth,adoring her beauty,mesmerized by her innocence, amazed by her activity,enthralled by her sheer presence.
Murali's been prodding me to write something, but,I've always enjoyed just sitting around with her,overwhelmed by the pride of being mom to a beautiful lil girl. Today, while Ananya's midway into her afternoon nap, I gave it a thought."Now that I am so carried away by emotion, is it that I can only feel and not express?"May be!But, but just lemme give it a try.Twenty years down, when I can't feel the same way as I do today, may be, this expression would help me relive my feelings. And here I am, penning these words...
Talking sensible words has become a thing of the past for me now.I have spoken only baby words for the past twenty five days.Not that the lil one can understand anything of what I say, but I just can't resist it. It makes me feel so close to her,to think that I understand her language and that I can speak in a language that she can understand(I just love to believe).I call her a hundred different pet names, the origin of none is known( origin can be nothing other than profound emotion).
Every movement of mine is measured, taking care not to hurt the baby.Sometimes, this crosses the boundaries of ration.All the care taken by others in handling her, doesn't seem to satisfy my standards(rather baseless) of "careful handling".

I grew up thinking of academics, career and stuff like that, and before I got married,never imagined what it felt like, to have a family of the ones we love.And not even on the 30th of April(a day before Ananya was born), did I imagine what it would feel like, BEING A MOM!Even today, I am not sure what I dote on!Ananya or motherhood or being mother to Ananya.I don't blame myself for this flood of thoughts.When I started to write, I thought I would suffer from Verbal Constipation but it seems to have ended in Verbal diarrhoea(I hope the context of the words is understood!).I would never have spoken enough of my lovely lil daughter, the most beautiful thing me and Murali have seen so far.And I know most parents feel this way about their precious lil ones. ME AND MURALI HAVE LEARNED OF ONE OF GOD'S DIFFERENT WAYS OF SHOWERING LOVE ON US.